drove you home with the headlights off.
let you fill me up.
and i stood in the hall with my raincoat on,
playing over in my head every word you said.
you’re the most wonderful thing to be covered in mud.
“kiss me clean; can you stomach the blood on my skin?”
i just want to see you whole again.
always said that no one stays together anymore.
i was so scared that you were getting bored of me.
watched your parents turn their pain into a flood.
it swept you up.
a love like that always eats its young.
make me your home,
and i’ll make you whole.
make me your home,
and i’ll make you whole.
it starts out brighter than it ever has,
but the stars still burn out.
and we still live in the same house,
where the floorboards creak
when you stand too close to me,
and we hardly speak,
and i hardly breathe.
yeah, you’re choking me with the parts of you
that i’ve grown too tired to love anymore.
i’m sorry that i’m just like all of the lovers and mother
that never knew how to hold you,
but i swear i tried.
on hands and knees, we bury what’s left—
a stillborn proof of all the things we’ve been.
credits
from Learning How To Talk,
released March 29, 2019
artwork by lisa a. ryan
recorded in kansas city by patrick robinson & braxton matlock
produced by patrick robinson with additional production by braxton matlock
mixed by braxton matlock
mastered by troy glessner (spectre)
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